反省中

ぶっちゃけ、色々書きたいんだけど、今は反省中なんで、もうちょっとしたら書きます。それまでに、待っててくださいね　♡

Alfatihah

Words can't describe how bad I feel right now...



I apologize for always finding ways to argue with you


My biggest regret is ..not being there by your side when you were lying on your deathbed...



Thank you for loving us unconditionally.

Thank you for being the most patient man I have known in my entire life.

Thank you for the lessons that no one could ever taught me better than you did.

Thank you, for without you, I won't be who I am today.




I love you Ayah...

I'll pray for you.. always..

Rest in peace

Distraction

In my previous post, I talked about distraction didn't I? Well... I had a good one with a group of friends in Shibuya a few hours back. It felt great! Really... I made new friends, one of whom was from a country I couldn't point on the European map. Basically  because my geography was lousy... Anyway, the point is, I managed to forget the melancholic feeling that has been enveloping me ever since that incident...  

But...

Once I am back in my cold room... the pain starts to crawl back in.. slicing every inch of my  heart..God.. I really have to stop this from ruining my 4 years here. Be strong me! Another 3 years and 8 months to go ...

頑張れ！自分！

Marginilisation

Of late, the above word has been repeatedly used here and there that I somehow sense that it has been abused by the users. Everybody tends to think that they are marginilised these day. Whether or not there's truth in the claims, I can't tell.

Single mothers think they are marginilised.

LGBT shout they are marginilised.

Non bumiputra scream they are marginilised.

Malays say that Chinese marginilised them at work

it just doesn't have an end......................

I guess the answer lies in how our puny human brains function. We are programmed to  fear and reject the unknown for our own survival. No matter how much we preach about humanity, deep down.. we are still afraid of each other.. 

Melancholia

It's weird you know. I thought I have grown over that feeling but apparently not...More than 8 years has passed and still... It's tormenting me from within. Why ?  I hope it goes away soon enough. I really need a distraction. A big one that is! Gosh... this is driving me crazy... I am supposed to be able to write anything on this blog since it's not my fb .. but I remember some of my friends who know me in real life sometimes read this .. can't risk them knowing things that I would rather die them let them know.. oh.. that does sound scandalously juicy isn't it? *wink* It is no laughing matter..How am I supposed to spit it out?  I am hurt.. deeply..  I curse the person who reincarnated this sharp throbbing feeling in my heart... curse you.... I curse you with the memory of us..  I hope I am not the only one in pain in the middle of Tokyo at this hour in this cold winter.....  curse you to your grave .. you know who you are...

Faizal Tahir

It"s been five years since OIAM season 1 but I still think Faizal Tahir deserved to win that night. FYI, I tried to vote for him.. but could never get through for a reason I still can't figure out till now. Perhaps it was fixed? so that the other participant won? mmm.. conspiracy? haha.. That was my only attempt voting for a reality show.. because I think he's the only talented participant so far who deserved my vote.. sadly... my vote ( and I suspect a whole bunch of other votes too) did not get through that night and he lost to Suki. 

Ah well.. what past is past.. though he didn't get the Million RM prize, I think he's doing much better than the champion.

here's one of my favourite:

Good night every one!

and.. do google the translation.. it's a nice song.. with a meaningful lyrics.. and NO.. it does not have anything to do with my life.. I just like this song.. that's all..

The Best Rejection

When you ask someone a favour, which rejection style do you prefer?

• Being told straight to your face, "No!"

• After going round and round the bush,  subtly, "I don't think so....."

• Ignored. No answer at all....

I think lately, i received a lot of the third kind..  I have to say, it doesn't feel good to be ignored. To me, it's the rudest kind of rejection one could have. You are kept waiting for an answer which you never know when you are going to get ..     *sigh... When you can't help me why don't you just say so?!  I am an adult.. I can take 'no' for an answer.. But being ignored.. is .. is..... pathetic..

To those who are reading this and actually know the real me... 

I abhor people who can't give an answer and decides to ignore my question!! hate!

Take note!